code name: agent CID age: 14, 20, 40, 9, or maybe 200. depends on the way she dresses REAL age: ohhh...you should've said so earlier on. sorry, this is highly confidential and any leak of her personal information may cause serious detrimental damage About her(or him) she loves dramas. dramas, sleeping and eating are an important part of her daily life. when she's not on a mission, agent CID dresses in school uniform(or maybe..a nurse's uniform. very clever) she is part of the well-know four person team whose name cannot be mentioned here.she may come across as fat, wonky and alittle eccentric but BEWARE she is not at all what she seems.

bolditalicunderlinestrikeout

last night for no particular reason
mum started to scream and yell at me
that was at 12a.m.
she screamed at me for watching television when she herself had been watching also. AND i ASKED for her permission to watch but she still scolded me, saying that because i watched, my sister could not fall asleep.
okay.
like that's even my fault if she has sleep disorder or something.
THEN
she switched off the tv and went off in a mad fit telling me that i was already 13 and i should know my limits. I should know what to do and what i should not do.
but i asked
and she said
okay
AND now she's telling me actually it's NOT OKAY
so what?
am i suppossed to ask whenever i need something or want to do something or
not ask
because it's pointless if i ask
cause
she would only give me an answer that is opposite to what she's thinking

OH. SO I AM SUPPOSSED TO TRY AND READ YOUR MIND NOW?

MAYBE IT'S NO WHEN YOU SAY "YES"

OR MAYBE IT'S YES WHEN YOU SAY "NO"

OR MAYBE,
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

SO I SHOULD JUST
SHUT UP AND GO AWAY

is that it?

i didn't know why but i couldn't help but cry in frustration
but i cried silently
i didn't want anyone to hear me
and think that i'm such a weakling
but i think my sister did
i know she did
and i decided to lock myself in the bathroom
to cry by myself

that was when i looked at myself in the mirror
and decided that there's no point in crying
because it ain't gonna change anything at all
actually, i looked quite okay when i cried
i told myself
and i felt like puking
i knew that mum was standing outside the door
not really, i didn't know that
i guessed that
i blew my nose and opened the door

she was there
i felt like smiling to myself
chelsea, you're such a genius
maybe you'll be able to read her mind now
or maybe not

i stared past her as if she was not there
and i went to bed
she came to my bedside and told me to look at her
i looked away
she started to get violent and pulled me towards her
then she screamed at me to go out with my dad next saturday
no excuses

fine.

Then later that night
i thought to myself
i'm so easily appeased
everytime she gets into a fit
i would get the brunt of it
since young
when i was one or two
but when she calms down ad goes to my bedside
and she says
"mummy loves you."
i would forgive her.

yep.

just like that.

Or that on the next day,
she would be nicer to me
and i would forget about the whole thing
forget that the incident ever happened
erase it from my memory
because life goes on

but

i have a feeling that she's taking my tolerance for granted
everytime i forgive her
she becomes bolder

she thinks that it's

alright to be like that to chelsea

because she would forgive me anyway.

it's so easy right?

i should be meaner
i should not forgive her THAT EASILY
i told myself
because it'll just go on and on and on
to a never-ending vicious cycle

I'll be mean.

but i think i've forgiven her now
i just can't bring myself to hate her
because everytime i do
i feel as though
i am as bad as her

but the next time...
i promise you
the next time she does it again


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