code name: agent CID age: 14, 20, 40, 9, or maybe 200. depends on the way she dresses REAL age: ohhh...you should've said so earlier on. sorry, this is highly confidential and any leak of her personal information may cause serious detrimental damage About her(or him) she loves dramas. dramas, sleeping and eating are an important part of her daily life. when she's not on a mission, agent CID dresses in school uniform(or maybe..a nurse's uniform. very clever) she is part of the well-know four person team whose name cannot be mentioned here.she may come across as fat, wonky and alittle eccentric but BEWARE she is not at all what she seems.

bolditalicunderlinestrikeout

Amazingly, we're now in the year 2011. can you believe it? :O
a year has past, and this marks a new beginning of a new phrase in life. well, in my life anyway.
two more days and i'll be meeting new people from a new class.. gonna be really cool ^^ hopefully?
countdown, 2011!!
YEA, YIJIE GOT ME TO GO OUT WITH HER FOR THE COUNTDOWN AND I HAD TO GO ALL THE WAY
TO VIVO! but yea, it was a special place for us so it was, as yijie said, a kind of closure?
met her at vivo at 10:30pm
i was right on time eh ^^
then she came n then we decided to go to the sky garden. but to go up we had to que for really long? like srsly, we queued for 30 mins to get up the escalator(!) it was crazy. then got up(finally) and realised to out utter horror tht you cant go up to the sky garden from there and had to go all the way back down. then we saw this lift and we went in and realised it took us up to the third level, AND WE ACTUALLY QUEUED FOR SO FREAKING LONG(!) when we could actually take the lift?!
anyway we went back down and found out how to get to the sky garden. it was rlly crowded and hot and yijie had a rlly thick jacket on which she refuses to take off, i have no idea why. we found this cool spot to sit and watch the fireworks and then started sending new year messages.
then suddenly, there were fireworks? D:
we missed the countdown, dont think anyone was counting down anyway...
anyway, made new year resolutions :DDD
and then pinkie sweared to come back every new year ^^
okay maybe not every year...
then went to bk and bought drinks.
then went and took mrt, chatted and then went back...
reached home at around 1++...?
then bathed, changed and started sending new year messages to everyone^^
sent till 3++ then wnet to sleep ^^
happy new year everyone! may we all enjoy another year of fun, joy and happiness :DDD! back to top?

the journey of life is like a train ride.
some people get on, and then they get off again
sometimes you try to get friendly and talk to one of them
try to get them to like you.
try to get them to stay.
but then it happens again
and they have to get off
"oh, that's my stop" they always say
"i'm rushing to catch another train"
then you finally realise they're not staying
nobody is.
they have different goals, different dreams, different places that they must go that you can't.
they say that you have different places you must go, different lives you will lead
that you're going to have to stay. here. not there. not where they are.
the train stops. they step out, and they look back at you. with those eyes.
and they whisper
it's okay, you'll find somebody new, i'm sure of it
you know that you won't meet people like them again
you know you will have to meet new ones. different, but just the same.
they're gonna have to leave.
you know they can't help it.
you know that they have their own trains to catch, places to go, dreams they must fufill
but you can't help it either.
you can only look on helplessly as they leave
one by one
you try to cling onto them, hoping to catch one of their dreams and make them yours
because you have none
you are headed for a destination that even you are unsure of yourself
you are headed at high speed
to an unknown place that strikes fear in your heart.
you are worried because everyone is leaving,
are you suppossed to leave too?
Are they leaving because nobody is suppossed to stay on this train?
are you going to have to make up your mind before it's too late?
too late for what?
why do you have to leave?
where are you going to go?
what are you going to do?
you don't know what to expect
you are frustrated because there isn't a guidebook telling you what to do.
not anymore.
you have decided to hop on a train that's going to nowhere
and you are going there too, together with the train.
to nowhere.
nowhere that people would go.
it's the last stop and the rest of them get off,
you see your last bit of hope slipping away and you desperately reach out
and you grabbed one.
"where are you going?" you ask.
the beeping of the door rushes them.
"oh, i'm rushing to catch another train."
he says.
"why are you rushing to catch another train?"
"oh, that's because this is not where i am headed for."
"so. can i come along?"
"well, do you even know where i'm going? why do you want to come with me? don't you have someplace you must go? surely you do?"
the door starts to close and he tries to pull away
"i don't know! can't you just take me with you?!"
he struggles harder and gives an irritated grunt
"i'm going to miss my train if you continue doing this! let go of me!"
you shake your head and plead even harder
"why?! why can't i go there?! to wherever you're going? why is everyone going there?! where is that place?"
"WHY I DON'T KNOW! IF EVERYONE IS GOING THERE, YOU JUST FOLLOW!"
and you let go of him
he rushes and makes it through
and you see your last bit of hope slipping through the door.
along with the man who's rushing to catch his train.
the train door closes and it moves on.
you sit down, on an empty seat.
and you look around you.
you wonder if you should've just followed him
and wonder why you didn't.
you are now sitting on a train
moving at high speed towards the end
the point of no return.
you just missed the last stop
but you know that it wasnt yours.
then you realised, that when everyone got off
you didn't
but you could
you just didn't.
in this journey, god gave you your choices
but forgot to include the one that you wanted most.
and now,
you're on a train.
a train that was designed to bring you to places but instead,
brought you to nowhere. back to top?

yessssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh i am back from my JOURNEY OF SELF DISCOVERY AND SPIRITUAL LEARNING.
nah, i just came back from malacca
spent my christmas there. i'll post tmr so wait for it~
must go bathe now and then watch 小孩。狗 at nine...
:DDD
bye~ back to top?

THE CLASS ALLOCATION IS OUT AND I AM IN CLASS 3C
YIJIE IS IN CLASS 3A WITH ALINE AND JULIA
NATALIE AND SIWAI ARE BOTH IN CLASS 3D
I AM IN 3C
I AM NOT WITH ANY OF THEM
OMG
YES
THIS IS SHOCKING NEWS...
OKAY
NOT REALLY...
3C HAS REALLY FEW PPL AND LIKE THE ONLY PEOPLE I KNOW ARE YILIN AND WEIHAN WHOM I AM NOT VERY CLOSE WITH.
THIS IS EXTREMELY ODD INDEED.
WOW.

anyway, the main point is that i got into class 3c and i didnt get into the same class as yijie and as such, i am sad. not really actually. i guess, it's like this new beginning and i hope i'll come to love my class. i actually feel relieved that i dont know much people there cause i guess it'll be an almost brand new beginning. but then again, what if i dont make friends and become a loner? what if what if what if~ who knows. there's still cca anyway, so if i dont make friends in class then at least i'll have cca mates.
i hope our classes are nearby so i'll be able to drop in and intrude. 3a, 3c and 3d are not very far apart are they?
i hope yijie doesnt go off and ignore me when she makes new and brilliant friends. anyway, must thank yijie for the presents and for today^^ i love you yijie!!!! <3 although we din get into the same class, you musnt forget me okay~
ANYONE WANTS TO GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER? although yilin tells me that 3c is like the block opposite our class, i have no idea where it is. and what if i get there too early or too late? no, i think i better meet someone to go to the class tgt.

OH AND ANOTHER THING, I REALISED WE HAVE VERY FEW PPL IN 3C? WHY?
nvm~ i shall stop thinking of it and prepare for my malacca trip tmr.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE EVERYONE!!!!!
:DDDD back to top?

I JUST FOUND OUT THIS REALLY AMAZING THING~ DID YOU KNOW 17 IS ACTUALLY A SACRED NUMBER AND IT GIVES OFF A GOOD VIBE OR STH? no cause i was reading the horoscopes thingy and they kept mentioning 17 in their dates so i went to check out my birthday and yes i found out i have a really good birthday that actually gives me good luck or something. wow. i think my mum is like amazing now. how on earth, and of all days, did she manage to give birth to me on this day? isnt this really cool?
and i don't know why but everytime my name's mentioned in something (even when i know it's not even about me) i take it personally. that is really weird. shane kept posting on fb about how much he hates chelsea (oh i do not stalk him, it appeared on my news feed. yes it really did! oh don't give me that look...) and i know he's not talking about me but everytime i see my name i feel dread. and i'll go, " oh, oh my gosh. is that me?" and then i'll realise it's not me and i'll go, "ohh~ it's not about me but you shouldnt say that about her anyway. that's so evil of you. poor chelsea." i have no idea why it's like that. is it like that with other people too? poor all "justins" or maybe all "biebers".... my heart goes out to you all...
and if you were wondering. no, i do not hate justin bieber. although i know many who does. the only reason why i tease him is because it's fun. just kidding. I don't hate him, really. But i really won't say he's just a poor poor kid and people shouldnt flame him cause he's young. he's not YOUNG, and his voice is BREAKING for christ's sake. okay, now im sounding like this cold heartless jerk who doesnt give a damn about other people's sufferings. why am i talking like this anyway? it's weird like... i just...suddenly adopted a new way of speaking(!) is that suppossed to be normal? anyway, back to where we stopped.
Justin Bieber is just another (i will not say "kid") person, with a dream. and the world IS that cruel and judgemental. it's hard being famous without being hated by some. okay, maybe the youtube videos gathered more dislike than likes but does that matter? What has he done wrong? i have no idea but i know, the world is unfair like that. when you've done something bad, you're hated. and even when you've done nothing bad, you're STILL hated. Nobody can stop anybody from hating anyone. there musn't be a reason for you to hate, just like there isnt any reason for you to love. so justin bieber, don't take it seriously. you still have tons of fans, and even more so now that you're breaking your voice.

the only certainty in life is death.

this has no relevance to the above passage whatsoever but it just invaded my brain and eradicated all other "inferior" thoughts. wow. i see that it has a big ego because it just decided to bold itself.
now what shall i do with this thing at the centre of my screen, demanding for my attention?
should i like, analyse (with a "z" or an "s"? and why does it look weird? did i spell it wrongly?) it or something? is that what you're suppossed to do when you have a really weird and random thought?
oh my gosh poor damon! D': in case you're wondering, i just went to read natalie's fb status and realised that damon is an amazing giver. how does he do that? :O i can't believe i thought he wasnt hot, yes he is totally hot now...
anyway, i figured out that i was crying over this book called "love, rosie" because i realised the love between the two "best friends" is really amazing. it's really beautiful and selfless like damon's love towards elena. and they had a happy ending and i cried and cried and cried. i never thought love like that would be possible. they loved each other throughout for 50 years but could only be best friends, watching their friend get married, moving away, having children, getting divorced, and then married again, then losing their job....through it all, the two were always there when the other needed it. and then in the end, they finally confessed and then got together when they're 50 and their kids are ready to have kids of their own but it didnt matter cause they're together at last. i wish i could have a beautiul relationship like this one....
yes, the invading selfish thought mr. the only certainty in life is death cowered when he saw the power of selfless love. with love, it doesnt matter if one is alive or dead because love remains anyway, anyhow, in one way or another. you'll find love in the sky, the trees, the birds, the clouds, the flowers, the animals, in photos and in other loved ones because love stays on forever. true love stays on forever. and with this love, you would find that you'll be able to forgive and embrace the killer of your lover, the cruelty of the world and find peace in your soul. the most beautiful love there is that whose very shadow would scare hatred off the boundaries of this earth. does the love like this exist? will i experience it for myself? because i want to see for myself, how the world looks like when hatred doesnt exist.

sometimes i wonder if im being too assertive, maybe too pushy and being too initiative about things that i scare people off...am i too pushy bossy cold aloof and "other worldly" as my horoscope suggests? "other worldly" as in... too detached from the world? like weird or something? i dont know who to be sometimes, like am i suppossed to just be like that or am i suppossed to change? i have no idea, every word i speak, every action i do, is done with a very confused mindstate. i am confused. i am really confused about who i should be, how i should act. it's like multiple personality disorder, it's just that i'm actually able to control the personality switch. it's like one day im cold and aloof, and the next i'm surprisingly sociable and mix with people so well i feel like im a natural communicator. there are times when i have to choose who i want to become at the start of the day, like should i be miss-i'm-so-high-and-noble-i-won't-even-talk-to-you or if i should be miss-oh-so-sensitive-and-shy-that-i'm-afraid-that-my-fragile-heart-would-break-if-you-even-talk-to-me or maybe miss-i'm-so-totally-eccentric-and-hyper-i-practically-laugh-all-the-time. what? it's not like i'm choosing clothes or something?! why is this happening? isnt your personality something that comes naturally to you without even having you think about it? and i actually get to PICK my personality and change into it like changing into clothes. i even act and speak differently when im being a particular personality. i think my friends are so utterly confused that they don't know who i am anymore. even i don't even know, beneath the clothes that i don, who am i actually. WHO EXACTLY AM I? WHAT AM I DOING HERE TRYING ON DIFFERENT PERSONLAITIES? DON'T I HAVE MY OWN PERSONALITY? AM I LIKE SUPPOSSED TO GO THROUGH SOME SELF-DISCOVERY RITUAL TO DISCOVER MY REAL PERSONALITY? IS THIS EVEN NORMAL?!
i guess that's what my horoscope means by "other worldly" huh?

anyway, gonna post this before i get no internet connection.
ttyl! back to top?

back to top?

is this the time i've been waiting for, to come out?
the day that i've finally become matured to understand and accept?
is this it?
i'm not sure but i think im a step closer.
i need to snap out it soon before this infects anyone, or hurts anyone too deeply for that matter.
it's like depression.
it's infectious.
and yes, very dangerous.
i don't even want to think about it anymore.
im tired of the mind vs heart, the bottomless struggle.
i want to finally stop and pick one, for once.
so i'll stop being confused and start living, breathing
living.
again.
i wonder if this is it?
maybe it is.
maybe it isnt.
but i don't care
because im getting there
i was actually worried that this day would never come
i hope i get out of it fully
don't want to see even a trace of it left
dont want this to be a reason to be selfish anymore
don't want to feel guilty anymore...
i'm hope im getting closer
closer
closer
and it's not just the hormones.
i have to step out,
yes i have to.
because people are already hurting.
i musn't let them die. i can't. i won't.
i must come out.
soon.
now.
before it's too late... back to top?

Kan Jong Wook (간종욱) - 검은눈물 [Pink Lipstick OST]



call me lame if you want to
but i really love the lyrics of this song, don't rmb the exact lyrics but it's really nice
i only like the chorus btw...
so yep.
i don't really like the show YET
i dont really like long dramas, i get bored easily.
but this is the only thing to keep me occupied for all the 7pms on weekdays
so yup.
i hope it's gonna be interesting enough for me to actually start to hate anyone.
:D
going to Ikea later...
hope i'll get my lamp ^^

"this little light o' mine, i'm gonna let it shine~" back to top?

AWESOME DAY TODAY^^ ahhhh~ wonder how long it's been since i last felt this amazing~ hahahhahahahahahah :DDDDDD

woke up and went to meet siwai to go to exercise together (Y) we ended up boarding the wrong bus and got to jurong bird park, was damn joke. then i gang hao looked down and saw the badge on my bag, it reads, "don't FOLLOW ME, i'm lost too!!!!!" :DDDDD
ANYWAY~
we took a bus back and then took another bus and got to jurong west swimming complex. then went to the gym and saw yijie pedalling on a bike, no wonder she wasnt answering my call. then me and siwai had to go down and buy entry tickets which costs $1.50 then went back up and registered, bought towel and entered. did the bike thingy that almost killed me, and then went to try the other equipments which were really cool O.O then left at around 2++, went to run one round around the track, then went back to jp. i was starving and half dead and yijie refuses to let us eat =.= she wanted to look and shoes and pierce her ear but in the end we didnt because it was too ex and she din hv enough $$ then went to mos burger and waited while siwai bought burger, then yijie piped up and asked the guy at the counter if they were hiring and he went and check and (very enthusiatically) said, "oh have vacancy, you want to work?" and yijie was damn shocked and was like, "huh? no! no! not now la!" and he was really persistent and continued, "oh you want to take the registration form? you can sign up..." and yijie was like, "huh? no no it;s okay..." and i saw the disappointment on his face...awwww
then went to eat niu rou mian at kopitiam(?) the china stall one. i was craving for it....haish. i cant believe tht im craving for CHINA FOOD. CHINA FOOD? i dont really like china food =.= yijie's influence again.
then ate and played with siwai's iphone, haha rlly fun cause gt alot of new games, and we also did the love calculator thingy with people's names and i got
"admirer"
when paired with kpj(?) i hv no idea how he looks like, i only like know a million things about him that normally dont know about when they havent even met. i dont even think he knows tht i exist? anw, tried with siwai and you-know-who, natalie and kpj(yea, lovers) , hanen with X and yijie with someone-whose-name-i-forgot. then left at around 5? and went home. then watched tv and ate and bathed and then when i came out, saw like two gifts on the sofa(!) turns out to be my christmas prezzies form my parents. ukimono and ukimono mini ^^ haha awesome. sister got mug and a gift card tht has a hundred dollar value ^^
yup, so facebooked and now im gonna slp. tmr going to bookfair with grandfather.
so needa slp now ^^

"tis the season to be jolly~ falalalalalalalala!"
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.
yea i know it's not christmas yet but since i blog about christmas presents, might as well...
:DDDD back to top?

i am like addicted to gloomy salad days. it is an awesome drama series. awesome, Awesome AWESOME :DDDD
it's about teenagers running into trouble with their own lives and then thinking about seeking death. The ONLY BAD THING ABOUT THE DRAMA IS THE HUGE SPAMMAGE OF LESBIANISM. SERIOUSLY. i have nothing against lesbians or gays, and you know what? in fact i don't even think that there's a problem being homosexual. i mean, THAT'S exactly what i mean. NOT FINDING HOMOSEXUALITY A PROBLEM IS THE PROBLEM. most people find it disgusting or whatever being homosexual but i actually don't think it's that bad...i mean, it has its advantages. being homo i mean. you can go shopping together, do things together that other couples can't. What's wrong with liking someone of the same sex? personally i think there's nth wrong. just alot more troublesome.
#1. it is hard accepting the truth that you're homo.
#2. it is hard for you to CONFESS that you're homo. esp when you're in an asian country.
#3. it's hard for you to find a partner cause the person that you like may not be able to accept you for who you are.
#4. it's hard if you want to get married legally.
#5. it's hard if you want to have kids...you can just adopt but it's not exactly the same is it?
and really, there's gonna be alot of criticism and it's gonna be really hard braving through all that alone.
and just imagine, on valentine's day
there's like alot of events for couples and you can't take part because people don't actually see you and your partner as a "normal" couple. that's sad isnt it?how the world judges and condemns. how people can't actually not care about how the rest of the world thinks of them.
how so many people are pushed to the boundaries by limitations.
hey! that sounds like a good anchor for the play ^^
how bout we talk about homosexuality in the play?
nah, that doesnt even make sense
don't think mitchell will accept that anyway...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
anyway, where was i?
ah yes,huge spammage of lesbianism.
the relationship btwn the two girls comes through as something really normal to me
so normal that i actually start to question if im really normal
maybe im a lesbian as well?
maybe i dont like guys
can you actually get confused about your sexuality?
im not actually attracted to guys
nor am i attracted to girls
so what does that make me?
:O
this is stupid.
of course i'm normal
i think?
i hope.
im just not that into guys yet...
i think...
this is crazy.
i should just stop watching gloomy salad days
it's messing up my brain
urg, im not lesbian!!!!! :O

im straight im straight im straight~





(pls refer to point #1)
back to top?

i'm so sorry mrs woon and mr chow. i can't be precise and concise no matter how hard i try D:

okay you must be wondering why i'm saying this all of a sudden. i'm just feeling really stupid, for churning out a thousand word essay for the article review homework and i'm not even done yet. this is stupid. i can't believe i have no idea how to end MY ESSAY. i ended with a question, which is dumb cause my whole essay is full of questions =.= so i started with a question and i ended with a question and i just question question quetion and then NO ANSWERS =.= i bet my LA teachers would be really pissed off when they read my essay. urg. this is stupid. and i just checked the homework list and guess what.



"write reader response to each of the articles min. 250 words
Reader response must include brief summary of the article followed by your views on the issues raised."



250 words?! 250 words?!

"brief summary" my summary is like 250 words =.= which isnt actually alot. not really.

"followed by your views" not your questions =.=
"issue raised" what issue?

urg. im going crazy. now i must edit out all the unneccessary parts.

i hate editting.

this is stupid arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Students find A-level passage similar, an article review.

All is fair in love and war, and especially so in major examinations such as the a-levels. However, for students who took the a-level Chinese language paper one on the first of November, this exam was far from fair. For a handful taking the paper, this unexpected victory came as a form of a replica of the same examination passage that they had done in their previous examinations. Well, almost the same passage with few sentences rephrased here and there. To the lucky few from raffles institution, Serangoon junior college and pioneer junior college who stumbled upon questions similar to those which they had done before, this was great luck indeed. But to the others who had not have the same bout of luck, this was a major disadvantage and an outright display of unfairness. Fiery teachers and students have questioned the procedures regarding the setting of the papers, demanding to know why the Singapore Examination and Assessment Board (SEAB) has allowed incidents like this to happen in a major exam like the A-levels, an exam of utmost importance in the learning career of a student’s life. The SEAB, however, seemed to not even be a little bit disturbed by the uproar of comments and replied calmly that the passages were adequately adapted. SEAB claim that they (the passages) were, “substantially modified” and were, “pitched to test the relevant language skills. (of the students)” In spite of the assurance given by the SEAB, many students still felt angered that others were given a “head start” in the examinations and that this should not be allowed to happen in the first place.
After reading this article, I did not feel the least bit surprised. I mean, that things like these do happen sometimes and I admit that I’ve come across a similar incident like this when I was taking my Chinese paper in PSLE. It was the last passage, the very same passage that my Chinese teacher had gone through with us just before the start of the examination. At that time I remembered feeling like I just struck lottery, a one in a million opportunity. “How lucky!” I thought, “Having the same passage appear twice in my examinations.” I once attributed this stroke of luck to the keen eyesight of my Chinese teacher but now, thinking back, it wasn’t just elation and happiness when I realised that I had done this before. Somehow, in one way or another, I actually felt disappointed and afraid. Disappointed that the exam wasn’t a fair test of my true potential and afraid that people would deny my results for what it really is. I start to wonder if the result were fair, if people could count on them to determine the potential of one and that if I really deserved my marks? It felt absolutely horrible to question if my results were fairly gotten when I had studied so very hard for my paper. In a way, it felt like I worked so hard then was forced to cheat on something I had confidence of scoring for. I don’t know if the “lucky” people taking the Chinese paper this time felt the same emotional struggle that I went through as I was doing the passage. I guess this is the other side of the story many never got a chance to hear.
On the other hand, I can easily understand the anger of many who hadn’t gotten the chance to see the paper beforehand. This was a major paper that was, in the eyes of the students, a matter of “life or death” and now what happens? A “re-used” passage turns up unexpectedly in the paper. A hard passage added with an extra disadvantage, who could really fault them for being angry? Speaking on an objective level I think that “re-using” a passage, although already substantially modified, would mislead others to think that the examination was mostly based on luck. If you have seen the passage before, good for you! If you haven’t, then too bad, you’ll lose out. Who would’ve thought that, Singapore being renowned world-wide for its first class educational system, would allow something like this to happen and then when questioned, dismiss it like it was no big deal. This was not just any problem, this was a huge problem. Besides the problem of fairness, there’s a greater problem of purpose. This re-using of passages not only questions the purpose of the examination, it also questions the purpose of learning itself. What is the expected learning outcome now that there is an easier route out of exams, and when the trump card lies in easy access of the students? Is the focus of learning now turned to finding the right examination questions instead of actively learning about the subject so that they would be prepared to face the given questions?
Another thing that bothers me is about the lack of thought being put into the exam papers by the SEAB. I understand that comprehension passages can be scouted anywhere, but the SEAB didn’t just take any passage, they took a passage that was from a top school’s mid-year examination paper. They knew that students from the school would have done it before and especially since it was a top school, chances were many others would also have come across it before. This problem could be easily avoided if the SEAB had put in more effort to look for passages elsewhere, at least, somewhere less accessible to the students instead of blindly picking out a passage then rephrasing some of the sentences. This was a major examination that is of great importance to many, this thoughtless act made me reconsider about the importance placed on the papers by the SEAB. This has happened not once or twice but a numeral of times. Is this really an accident or just deliberate negligence?
As for the rest of us who have no direct relation to this examination, we can only sit back and wait to see if a new plot unfolds, turning the tables once again. As we witness another real life example that questions the fairness of the world, one that we’ve seen or heard once too many, we shall then again think about what fairness is about. This time however, perhaps to us students, something that is closer to heart.
Someone once said, all is fair in love and war. Or is it?

i know that you'll not bother to read it so yea, i'm just posting it to retain memory. ive decided to rewrite another one cause this one's utterly crappy. really. i feel embarrassed just reading it =.=

gosh.

okay here's the starting of the lky one.

One last goodbye, an article review

This is the story of two extraordinary people who shared an extraordinary love. It was a bitter-sweet affair for the lee family, the funeral of madam Kwa Geok Choo that is. This was a life so brilliantly lived that it seemed like a pity to have it taken away from her. Madam Kwa Geok Choo was everything one could ever expect of a woman: loving, caring, smart, gracious, witty, magnanimous, supportive and shows great passion for life. What makes her an even greater object of admiration is the undying love that she gave (and in turn received) to everyone else around her; the very same love that reached out with its beautiful story and touched so many nationwide. Now with her passing, the family talks of the little intimate details of how she had managed to make a difference in theirs, and perhaps also finding comfort in reminiscing about the good old times when she was in her prime.
The word “love”; now no longer sacred. The word that has been used once too many in too many unworthy things, the word that once held so much meaning, the word that once promised so much has now been abused and misused all over the place. It is now too easily said, too easily done.

and then i have no idea how to continue...

nvm~ i shall watch dramas to gain inspiration,

oh i'm starting on this new drama called, "gloomy salad days"

which is kinda creepy? well to me BUT it has aaron yan and wang zi in it so i'll give it a try^^ ahha

okay~ that's all for now. ahnyong~

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you can be jealous for so long (and for so much) before you find that it becomes envy. back to top?

this is so amazing that i don't know what to say O.O
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i know this came a few days too late but

happy birthday sweet beautiful fantastic adorable er...loving beautiful siwai^^'
you're officially 14 too^^ you and yijie can celebrate your coming of age together cause 14 is like the official age for doing everything... like watching pg14 movies and getting crushes. someone should dedicate a song to the awesome age of 14, maybe taylor swif or justin bieber... okay anyway, this birthday you should be more confident of yourself, you ARE ATTRACTIVE CAN. don't deny. attractive on the outside and the inside. no, i'm not being sacarstic. =.= you always say that.
ANYWAY~ enjoy every moment of being 14 cause it won't last long... D: and for the remaining few months of 14, i may not be there to go through it with you cause we probably won't be in the same class, but at least i was lucky enough to share your 13th year, 13 is also an awesome age, maybe someone should dedicate a song too? maybe this year's birthday celebration wasnt from sync but i guess it still counts as giving you one, as friends. oh and yep, HAVE A MERRY MERRY BIRTHDAY~ sangil chukan hamneda! sarang hae yo~ ^^
oh and don't just love the "bear-without-a-name" must love the froggy and the tortoise too okay :DDD happy(belated) birthday siwai~ back to top?

happy birthday my dear sweet beautiful smart ambitious daring blunt unpretentious sweet beautiful YIJIE!!!!! *throws flowers and cornflakes*
THANKS FOR BEING SUCH AN...AWESOME FRIEND.
I MEAN SUPER duper AWESOME BESTFRIEND
okay, maybe you're insensitive and blunt and crappy sometimes
but most of the time, you aren't. and when you aren't you're wonderful. okay, maybe when you are, you're also wonderful okay? and i'm really blessed to have you as my friend because you're a jewel and i'm not talking about the pasar malam kind,i'm talking about the ones that people "wow" and "omigosh" at when they see it on display. you know, i think i haven't exactly been the perfect friend, well, forgetting to post on your wall at twelve. i wanted to be the first T.T that was damn crappy. i'm sorry and it meant alot to me, showing how much you mean to me. (awwww) so i wanna thank your parents on this wonderful day, for giving birth to you on this day and not a month later or eleven months earlier because then we won't be class mates and i wont get to meet such a wonderlicious friend. ^^
i want us to get into the same class and pwn everyone standing in our friggin bright future of wealth and success :DDDDD
then you can get a really rich and wonderful husband and then invite me to your wedding so i can also meet this wonderful and rich husband. then i can hold a wedding on the same day and month as yours so we can go on double dates and anniversaries together! we can be bffs forever and even if your freakin rich and amazing husband doesn't want you anymore (of course he wont cause he's rich...and amazing) you'll always have me (and maybe my rich and amazing husband) so let's get into the same class and grow old together! doesnt that sound like a brilliant idea><>(double awwww)
have a happy great amazing birthday and please dont forget my polaroid...
please?
love ya! less than three!
-agent cid
*winks*haha, i've always wanted to do that, you know, like james bond or sth...

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i keep having this weird feeling recently... the feeling of having your only precious lollipop stolen away from you by this rich kid who probably has carts full of lollipop of his own. The feeling of losing something that rightfully belongs to you. it's everything, it's everywhere. this is feeling is unstoppable, it's incontrollable, it's gone haywired. Jealousy? not so much. it's more of, oh i don't know, i can't find a word to descibe it. i had it there for a moment, but i lost it thanks to the jay chou song blaring on my comp. i feel so...不服气...(see, that's why we shouldn't encourage bilingualism. people in singapore are like, "you know what? i have no idea how to describe this in english so i'll just switch channels and describe it in mandarin instead!" that was how we got singlish wasn't it?oh shoot, i have to stop ranting D: back to the topic... --->) so i was feeling (i went to the thesauraus and checked up "reluctance" well that wasnt exactly the word i was looking for so i was hoping to get some luck with the thesaurus. and guess what? a whole list of weird words came up, words that i've never even heard of in my 14 years of life. yes i just revealed my age =.= so to the internet stalkers, not that i'd have one anyway, great job, you found out my age...so what? so now you think you can get me to strip infront of the webcam? of course not. i don't even have a webcam. *pauses and looks at laptop* okay, fine! i DO have a webcam but so what? i'm not going to strip anyway... omigosh, look where i've drifted off to ^^ FOCUS CHELSEA --->) okay, so yeap, i have this weird feeling. but i think it's gone thanks to my rantings... i don't think i could even find a word to describe it anyway...
that feeling
i mean.
gosh, i should stop this bad habit of paragraphing. but mr chow would be so glad if he saw my blog wouldn't he? he kept telling me to paragraph back in year one. ahhh...the good ol' days.
i just reread the post and felt adequately annoyed at how easily i drift off. i hate drifting off...
so i will address the topic like a good lang arts student and answer precisely and concisely (mrs woon would be so glad^^) i have this weird feeling. i can't really put my finger on it. it's just, really out of the norm. i don't like abnormalities. it's annoying and i hate feeling this way. it's making me feel like a total (female dog), not that i hate female dogs. i mean real dogs. i love dogs. and pigs. especially teacup pigs which are very rare.
great.
i just veered off topic again.
=.=
i hate feeling like this. maybe it's
1. cca?
2. school?
3. cca?
4. cca?
5. cca?

4 against 1.
cca then.
okay, i'm feeling like this because of cca. i have no idea why. i've never gotten this feeling before and when i say never
i...don't actually mean never
never is a big word.
maybe seldom.
okay, seldom get this feeling. it's just, grey. very very grey.
very very confusing
very very dangerous
like area 51.
like that grey area i talked about in the previous post
the poor grey area.
can you get very grey?
if it's very grey isn't it more of black?
if it's light grey isn't it more of white?
actually i don't see how grey is close to white
i don't see how any colour is close to white.
is white even a colour?
omygosh. i can't stop can i?
what happened to precise and concise?
maybe they took a break, put up the "out for lunch" sign and went out to have supper
they should be back later
i hope.
i know why i never have successful emo posts
this was meant to be an emo post
and the last one was meant not to
you can hardly tell the difference can you?
it's hard being emo when you're programmed not to
like how it's hard swallowing orange anti-biotics without a lollipop.
i just hope guiltiness and confusion would go on and slack off like their two examplary brothers
and leave me alone
they should go for brunch and then dinner and then supper and then brunch again.
i hope it'll just go away with time
and i'll just
"grow out of it." as my mum always says
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
heart, "i sure hope so..."
brain," of course not bumbass, that's not going to happen anytime soon and you know it."
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such a feeling's coming over me
there's no wonder in most everything i see
all the clouds in the sky
all the tears in my eyes
and i wont be surprised if it's a dream

everything i want the world to be
it's not coming true especially for me
and the reason is clear
it's because you're not here
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
okay =.=
this is really crappy
forget it.
i can't even change lyrics properly
i guess i've lost my touch, not that i've had one anyway... i hate emo posts. i hate emo posts. i hate emo posts.
that's why i'm well determined to not let this be an emo one. did i tell you i hate emo posts?
anyway
anyway
anyway
anyway...
.................

er actually, i don't exactly have anything to say. maybe i do. maybe i'm just hiding something. maybe i havent exactly been completely truthful.

i know you're wondering what this is all about. actually, it isn't about something, specifically. it's just... you know... i'm in a crappy mood today so yea, just forget about it. you know what, we'll just move on to somthing else. :D
you know, like butterflies and bees and flowers and trees
hey that rhymes!
see?
i'm getting better already
i'm feeling amazing
really
really really amazing
yep
no doubt.
you know what
i feel so wonderful
im feeling like god
i wonder what it feels like to be god
to be in control of everything
to be in the know
to be in the loop
to be in the zone
what it feels like to be powerful
to make change
to stop change
to decide when the sun will shine
or when the rain will fall
when babies will be born
and when people will die
i wonder how it feels like
to be in control of so many things
won't it be difficult?
when does he get time to breathe?
maybe he doesn't
and maybe i'm wrong
maybe feeling like god
may not be so good afterall
maybe simplicity is life
and maybe we shouldn't really think
about the things we're gonna do
the things we wanna be
maybe complexity is death
and we have to make a choice
if we want to live a life
or we want to live a death
maybe things aren't always black
and neither are they white
maybe they are grey
not on either side
why is it so hard
to make sense of what we see
the cold hard facts don't register
and the mind keeps setting itself free
sometimes i think of being like god
but it isn't for plain power
but rather it's for assurance
i need a whole lot of those
not just words that are spoken
pleasantries that have been heard many a times
but something more than that
something that has always been on my mind
in that deep drak subconscious
i know something lies in wait
for the moment to arrive
so that it will awake
there's something hidden
in the depth of my heart
something strong and crazy
waiting for that thud

that push
that noise
that jolt
who will beckon it towards its calling
who what when where i dont know for sure
but i hope it is blossoming
i dont know if that's good
maybe even if it's bad
maybe it's a mix
just like that poor grey thing
and as for it's coming
which i havent a clue
my feelings
well it's in a mix itself
maybe it's also grey
like that poor grey heart
also patiently dutifully waiting
for that awakening thud. back to top?